Are men more feminine? Are females more masculine? How society depicts us to act… how society views men and women… the cultural changes compared to back then and today.

2025, the year of modernity, AI, acceptance to all, and fully remote lifestyles, was established. What does this entail regarding self-development between men and women? I want to focus on societal views of men and women throughout our lives.

Swing me back to the 80s, where we actually came in direct contact with each other's first impression. Dancing, calling, going on dates, and simply hanging out over texting. Men and women were more direct; therefore, men were bold and straightforward. For the longest time, acting masculine or feminine was often set up by society. What changed?

Flash forward to 2025, this Friday, 11/21, and you're going out with your boys, your girls, etc, and you finally end up at the destination, the club or bar. You see a very attractive individual. Does the man or the woman go up to them now, or is it the air to decide? Well, if this were the 80s, we know the answer. The men would 100% ask the lady to dance, buy a drink, or grab her phone number. Nowadays, when I go out, I tend to see a drastic change: women are the bold ones, sliding their phone numbers into men's pockets. I mean, go, ladies, but if you ask me, as a young female who believes in traditional romance, I would say this is absurd. I still hold my beliefs in thinking that men should be the dominant ones over women.

The concept of social media takes biases in this subject. Men are performative and feminine, women are in male fields. What does this even mean? My grandmother would ask me, born in the 1920s. Regardless of culture, my grandmother is Japanese, society and culture are really the same, as we are all at the end of the day, born as the human species. In Europe, the lifestyle is the same; however, they follow a pattern similar to that of the 20th century.

If you look at statistics or even observe generically through TikTok or Instagram, you will find more couples in Europe than in the United States. Does this go to say that America has reversed gender norms? Or is it a generational flaw?

These algorithms TikTok comes up with aim to keep us hooked on repeated behaviors, from both male and female perspectives. If we look at the recent trend of "being too cool to have a boyfriend," Vogue published an article shortly after, sparking controversy. Some women aspire to it in male-dominated fields, seeking independence, while others argue and post "cringy" TikToks with their boyfriends. These algorithms convey and evoke the feeling of being "strong" and "independent," but might not always align with our gender views.

In addition to fashionable statements about men's fashion, such as earrings and jewelry, some see these men as more feminine. Could this attract or pull away females? In a way, a sense of self-expression can attract more women to men, and the release of fear when a man breaks those feminine standards. The dominance over the insecurity of thinking one is "weird, feminine" is attractive in its initial self-worth and the confidence it inspires.

Do we still remember the performative male trend from late August to September? A performative male starter pack is men dressing to attract the female crowd. Wired headphones playing Cairo or Beabadoobee, hand accessories or ring bracelets, a tote bag or crossbody bag, some keychain, or a plus if it's a labubu, baggy, or wide-leg pants, some kind of chain or necklace, and a matcha beverage in hand. Volia! The performative male. These men adopt some personality traits, fashion, or express female interests and present themselves as progressive and emotionally intelligent to attract women. A key characteristic is their lack of authenticity: these men are genuinely not interested in areas such as books by Bell Hooks, but they appear more approachable. This can be seen as humorous yet manipulative toward women in real life. Now, the trend of these performative men should be approached with caution when dealing with them, or risk mislabeling men who are authentically interested in female topics. However, the choices and language these types of men use are very distinct from those of traditional men, so I recommend trusting men based on their actions, because actions speak louder than words. Everyone has their own opinions about trends on these apps, just as we have different interests, hobbies, and careers. I will not say that most agree; rather, it is a personal choice to support this TikTok algorithmic trend. However, I do notice an ongoing pattern of many females supporting such trends. The manosphere and anti-women groups get more powerful because of these algorithms. Often, they make harmful gender views and extremist ideas more common, hurting young people.

That goes to say, men don't have a subjective view on this sort of topic. Instead, it's portrayed as females taking over social media platforms. Men are more passive than women who give us likes and follow us. We, women, are the driving force online. However, looking at the male-to-female user ratio on TikTok, we see that in 2025, 53.5% of users were men and 46.5% were women. In terms of age, most statistics show a relatively even distribution across age ranges, except for users aged 25-34. 22.2% are male compared to 17.5% are female. This demonstrates a generational impact. I wonder what happened with the millennials… This shows that age and gender roles significantly affect how men and women behave in social settings.

Perhaps men older than our generation, Gen Zs, are more likely to approach a woman, which is why social media wasn't released until these folks were in College or already in the workforce. Our generation is growing up too fast, some might argue. While some say we are on track… The world may never know; it is up to society to decide.

Men were once seen as the strong ones, the ones who would go to war, tough, hardworking, and quiet. Women were seen as the housemaker, the caring mother, emotional and gentle, prepping and baking dinner when the husband came back. But now, we know gender is more complex. We've learned that being male or female is not just about these old ideas; it's about who we feel as individuals. However, masculinity and femininity are expanding rather than just reversing. Men today feel greater freedom and inclusivity to express emotion and softness, breaking the stereotype that "men don't cry." At the same time, women can embrace ambition and authority, outdating the "aggressive" stereotype of females. Gender expression is becoming more fluid, diverse, and individually defined.

Some women might dominate more masculine traits as working women in finance, STEM, software, engineering, you name it. Those manly roles that we view as the 9-5 pm working type are no longer one-sided. Women can take on these roles too.

Back to the topic of relationships, high-maintenance women can define the relationship and pressure men to put in more effort and exert dominance. Could women's actions influence men? After all, males are the majority of followers who help women's platforms go viral on social media. Men tend to gift roses to women on these occasions, hence the societal stereotype of men taking women on dates and paying for their dinner and drinks. So, ladies, we should embrace our self-independence in our fields such as career, passions, work, yet again still hold accountable that traditional feminine, soft aura with our man. This will help lead and direct the relationship, following traditional male and female roles. The men are providers, the women are emotional support that glues the whole house together.

There wouldn't be a sandwich without the bread and the toppings. The same goes for relationships. We must value our differences and embrace living in a modern society, the advancements that have evolved within men and women, yet not forget where we naturally come from in society as simple creatures of men and women. Men are more than just men, and women are more than just women. We are in balance between both sides.